Feeling Overwhelmed?

Overwhelmed.  The definition is “1. Overpower somebody emotionally, 2. Provide somebody with huge amount, 3. Overcome somebody physically.”  I don’t know about you, but in today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to succumb to overwhelm.  Here are a few tips to help you deal:  Meditation is a wonderful way to quiet your mind and take a few minutes for reconnecting with yourself.  Remembering to take things one step at a time and set SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable (or Action-oriented), Realistic, and Timely) also helps you from becoming overwhelmed.  If you know where you are headed, you can take it step-by-step to get there.  And of course, hiring a life coach makes sense when you need a personal cheerleader, someone to listen and help guide you through life’s overwhelming moments.

Free Tele-Workshop Offered – Manifesting Your Desires

Are you ready to make some positive changes in your life in 2015?  In my upcoming workshop on January 21st at 6PM CST (Chicago time) you can learn how to manifest your desires with positive feelings.  This workshop has been a hit in the past and will be a great way to start the new year!  Please email me, betty@44thParallelLifeCoaching.com to register, and I will forward you the call-in information as well as the access code.  I also offer individual coaching if you’d like some help with planning and goal-setting, and getting into action!

Out with the Old, In with the New

The New Year is upon us!  Happy 2015.  One of my favorite authors, Sarah Ban Breathnach, writes some excellent advice:  “Before we can welcome in the New Year, we need to put the Old Year’s unfinished business—mistakes, regrets, shortcomings, and disappointments behind us.”  She suggests that you write each of these on a small slip of paper, put the slips of paper in a small cardboard box, and then proceed to toss it into the fire to “burn away the past”.  If you don’t have a fireplace, throw them into the trash! 

What a great idea to get a fresh start!  I’d like to help you further by working beside you to get your list started and develop a vision board for what you want to accomplish in the New Year.  With a bit of planning, some help with goal-setting, and learning to use your strengths, there’s no reason why you can’t be successful.

Reference: Breathnach, Sarah Ban.  (1995).  Simple Abundance: A daybook of comfort and joy.  New York:Warner Books.

What lights your fire?

What motivates you?  What really lights a fire within you?  I would bet that many of the things you named will turn out to be on your Strengths assessment.  We all possess strengths that help us get things done.  For instance, my top 5 are Judgment, Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence, Gratitude, Honesty and Love.  I think things through and use evidence to make good decisions.  I appreciate skilled performance in work, in math and science, as well as in art and the beauty in nature. I am very thankful for all that I have and I don’t take anything for granted.  I’m truthful and ethical and authentic—a real person who can be trusted.  I am a loving and caring person who values close relationships. 

If you’d like to learn about your own strengths, please contact me to get started!  Once we have identified your strengths, that gives you a lot to work with to understand and use as you strive to reach your goals.

Dreaming Big

What hopes and dreams do you have for the future?  Five years from now?  Ten years from now?  I developed my own Vision Board about a year and a half ago and I’m proud to say that I have reached many of the accomplishments I set out to do!  I found it helpful to know what I wanted and then start plotting that on a timeline.  The timeline had to be realistic for many reasons including time required to complete certain tasks, budgeting the money to do some of them, budgeting the time, etc.  Project Management is a strength of mine and I found the Vision Board was a great way to plan and set my personal goals.  I enjoyed the challenge of making my life “my project”. 

Dreaming big is a wonderful way to forward your life!  It keeps you motivated and energized and eager for the next step.  It can be as creative as you want to make it, and having that visual in front of you is a positive reminder of your dreams and what it will take to get there.  I’d love to work with you on the special project that is your life.

Getting what you want

Sometimes the main obstacle to getting what you want out of life is that you simply cannot identify what it is that you want!  That can be a frustrating feeling and it can really make a person feel stuck.  How can I move forward, when I don’t know where I want to go?  Here’s an idea to help you get un-stuck:  Start backwards by first identifying what you DON’T WANT.

As you list out what you don’t want, it may start to become more obvious to you what you really DO WANT.  In the process you are going from a negative viewpoint to a more positive viewpoint. This gets some good energy flowing.  It’s also important to give yourself permission to focus on you!  If we are always busy meeting the needs of others and not taking any time for ourselves, it’s no wonder we can’t decide what we want.

Take some time to yourself to think and dream and plan.  Identify what it is that you want out of life.  To be a caretaker of others, you have to be strong and healthy and whole.  To be strong and healthy and whole, you need to routinely focus on yourself.

Making Changes

If you are looking to make some positive changes in your life, I strongly recommend the Prochaska model, developed by James O. Prochaska, PhD. 

This is a six-stage program which breaks it down into steps, beginning with the:

  • Pre-Contemplation Stage.  At this point, you could be still in denial, resisting any type of change, not really seeing the need for change.
  • Contemplation Stage.  Here you are giving some thought to change, but you might be “on the fence”, not sure, evaluating the pros and cons.
  • Preparation Stage.  You have made the decision to change and now you are getting ready, putting your plan together.
  • Action Stage.  This is when you start to move forward and make the change.
  • Maintenance and Relapse Prevention.  This is a stage many forget about.  You may have a relapse and go back to old behaviors, old habits, but you have to pick yourself up and get back on your plan!  It’s about keeping strong.  Don’t beat yourself up over it—it happens to us all.
  • Termination Stage.  This is when the change has become so much a part of your life that you are totally comfortable with it and you will keep moving forward.

This program works so well, because it really outlines the stages we all go through.  It helps to know where you are at and what the next step is.  Many never get off first base—they stay stuck in Pre-Contemplation.  As a coach, I’m trained to help you move forward, by asking powerful questions, by helping you identify what strengths you can put to use, by offering support and encouragement, and helping you with accountability.


Curiosity is a character strength.  If you find yourself constantly asking questions, and if you find all topics fascinating and interesting, this may be a strength for you.  (Sometimes we lose the curiosity we possessed as children because we come a bit jaded as the years pass.)  There are ways to develop a strength.  Previously I mentioned the Law of Attraction and gave some simple examples about getting what you focus on.  What if you were able to focus on truly important and life-changing things, maybe a career change, for instance? 

If you have lost your curiosity and also lost your ability to focus, it can be hard to move forward and get what you really want in life.  I offer a free orientation to coaching to help you determine if you need a little “jump start” to get you moving ahead.  Coaching is helpful for regaining your true focus, identifying your strengths, and using those strengths to your benefit.

To learn more about your strengths, please e-mail me and I will be happy to refer you to a free assessment online that can help with this.

Law of Attraction

Are you curious about the Law of Attraction?  This is the belief that Like attracts Like and that whatever we focus on is what we will get.  If you focus on negative things, perhaps worrying that your car will get a flat tire—that is more likely to truly happen.  A friend of mine believes that bad things happen in threes.  As soon as something unfortunate happens, she expects at least two more bad things to occur.  Guess what?  They usually do occur!  She has that in mind and that is exactly what she attracts. 

If you focus on positive things like thinking about a dear friend you haven’t spoken to in a while, you can actually attract that attention and possibly even hear from that dear friend you were thinking about!  It seems like it comes up as a coincidence, but more likely your inner self sent out some positive vibrations and attracted that back to you.

If you are feeling “out of sorts” and would like some help bringing alignment and purpose back into your life, my free blog and newsletter, “Latitude Adjustment”, may be just what you are looking for!

Leading a Balanced Life

I have always felt resonance with Robert Fulghum’s Credo, “All I Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten”.  It came to Fulghum as he realized that he already knew most of what is necessary to lead a meaningful life.  Here are just a few of his insights from that Credo:  Share everything. Play fair . . . Clean up your own mess . . . Live a balanced life—learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some . . . When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.  Be aware of wonder . . . and then remember the first word you learned LOOK.  Isn’t this what we should all be doing? 

I especially like the part of living a balanced life and being aware of wonder.  If you are feeling like you got off track and need some help getting balance back in your life, please contact me betty@44thParallelLifeCoaching.com  I’m here to support and coach you, to hold your hand and, because it just makes a lot of sense, we’ll stick together!

Reference: Fulghum, Robert.  (1986.)  All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten.  New York:Ivy Books published by Ballantine Books.